Thursday, November 6, 2008

Of Friends and how they impact your marriage

We had to go for a office do tonight. With the present state of affairs, felt it quite astrain to be with friends and pretend all was well. Had dinner, had the usual office gossip and was party to a dirty fight between a couple who are good friends.
Obviously topic veered to them, on the way back home and hubby dear took the man's side and I took the woman' s side. Natural as you tend to see from your narrow perspective.
As we were talking ( not even arguing) you know, I am seeing adifference in you. You talk to these women who are frustarated with their lives and husbands and then you start behaving like that at home.
HELLO ? What brought that on? We were not the topic of discussion. How does "we" get into anything and everything?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Of marriage and mother-in-laws

Whats changing??????
Today I made some lime pickle and my husband eats it and asks how have I made the pickle.
Wonder why this interest in the recie untill he asks why does this not taste like the way my mother makes pickle.
because....I am not your mother.
We talk and there is some random conversation about a couple we met and he starts off that women have it great all the time. I did not react but asked Why? They dominate guys and make him live the way they used to. Poor guy will have to learn to eat what his wife cooks and he never gets to eat the way he has all his life (The way his mother cooked) Why did you leave home, get married, you could have lived in your mother's lap all your life.
Also that the wives selectively teach the children to dislike their paternal grand parents and as a result the husband gets isolated. No mention of the fact that he can't talk a straight sentence to his parents and fights with them all the time.

Whats happening??HELP???we do not have any major issues so are these the petty issues which will make us unhappy.

Thoughts about marriage after 20 years

Unhappiness with the present
All my life,I heard my husband making plans of what he would do after retirement. I will do business, I will complete my MBA , anything except my present job. It used to worry me no end but after years of unhappiness with his job, when he got overlooked for his promotion, my husband took early retirement.
Its been 3 years since he retired, he still does not know what he wants to do. Its studies some day, business the other day, just talk and talk and talk. I keep working, the kids are studying, my husband is still not sure what to do.

What has suddenly changed is that he gets angry with small things. Earlier the kids would joke and pull his leg. Now, he is becoming paranoid and taking offence about the smallest things. HE FEELS THE KIDS DO NOT RESPECT HIM BECAUSE HE DOES NOT WORK!!!!
If I cater to his demands, he is happy. If I just mention the fact that I am busy with work, he starts passing odd comments about my job and how a working women can never be a good wife.

Funny how a man who wanted a working women to start with, now feels a working woman is no longer desirable.